i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
