I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
