took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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