WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
