wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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