bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just want to make out with him forever
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
