my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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