remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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