Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
