Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
