what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
