My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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