Cold hands, warm shart.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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