she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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