from now on my penis is your penis
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
