matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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