my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
