I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Your penis caused this!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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