Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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