Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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