I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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