"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize