I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
