I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
