he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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