I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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