I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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