just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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