SEEEEXXX PLEASE
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
