Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize