You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
