is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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