too bad you live with your parents still
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
