O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
