I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
