Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
