Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
