it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
