Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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