Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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