I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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