I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
