Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
