He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
