have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
