where am i from again
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
