Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
