Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
