I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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