The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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