Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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