You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
