This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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