i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was born a porn star she said
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
