dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize