where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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