So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just pynch a tree in the face
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
