He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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