i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
