hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
