Porn is love you can see.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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